Março no mar

I moved from the city to work and live at a guesthouse in a nearby town.

from, recent daily entries, Fevereiro & Março.

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21 I was sun drunk for much of this afternoon after riding thru Caparica. Looking at myself in the mirror I can already see my skin radiating a slightly browned warmth. In rumours of summer I feel a sense of belonging and kindness.
22 With M we birdwatched, for me, for the first time. I am used presenting the world surrounding to those I am with, so I felt pleased, albeit confronted, for this shift of dynamic. I wish to listen better, I wish to know more.
I watched Angels Egg, I will dream of white hair.
24 A ghost smell arrived briefly. These happen rarely.
26 A woman sits across from me on the metro, wearing headphones, eyes close, head moving to a rhythm I cannot hear but can imagine. She visibly chews on the sound.
27 I cut my hair to procrastinate packing my house, moving in just days now. My hair falls layered.
I watched Gasoline Rainbow.
Notebook fear.
~
01 Starting the day in anxious molasses, I know what must be done to move forward but am eyeing it with suspicion, opting to read instead. My shoulders are tight and painful after carrying too much yesterday.
I am pre welcomed by those at the guesthouse and already feel a kinship, community. Heart radiates forward.
Tentative, but there is a comfort here, I know I can settle. I have picked at my fingers all day. I have read and walked.
I am in the bedroom now, it is dark, but past the window there are trees and birds, this house feels like a place from home. E, my roomate, plays a game on his phone.

02 I am close to finding the language, whatever that means.
04 Slow train back home, hungover light, sleep hazing. The ghost of a feeling of needing to do, but knowing I can come back to the house with maybe bread and cheese and thats all for the rest of the day.
The sky haze, Isa saying it could be the dust from Sahara. I tell her old story from Greece of the desert’s birth, sun carrier & son.
Got high with E and floating about my room unpacking.
I will read some then sleep.
05 Belly full heart full.
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07 Have been watching again my favourites of 90’s Japanese scifi. Wishing to write a story based on Evangelion. Thoroughly removed from the main plot - some small contained tale where the characters know not why the world has changed in the way it has.
08 I had dreams
And woke to sun
Well rested
10 I drew the chariot
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11 I was hiking around Lisboa with my father, we top a hill & see one of three old quarries, like a hot blade cut diagonal thru the earth, like a rendering error.
Other hikers passed us, so we continue.
There are two old houses adjacent we look thru, finding food, a sweet made of a nearby flower or weed.
The other quarries are unassuming.
or
In a few other dreams of late I try to light matches who choose to stay unburnt.
~
I have been reading Hummingbird, Salamander by Jeff VanderMeer. I love his other writing, Annihilation and Authority.

See more at my website, Colesbrough Mort & Company